Books on dating divorced dads
-- I would be remiss if I didn't also share some cautions to keep in mind.In case you're wondering, one divorced dad swept me off my feet (then dropped me over a ledge).
And one remains a trusted friend to this day (and I'm glad).When a man clearly indicates what is and isn't a deal breaker, we owe him the respect of honoring his choices. But something in your gut tells you he's too good to be true.Remember that mention of the divorced dad who swept me off my feet? Consider golf, stage plays, a board game night, and so forth. This is one of the most common faux pas committed by divorced dads. You need to look forward, not back, and it is an easy way to destroy an otherwise positive evening. No matter how much you miss sex or physical affection, commit yourself to no one night stands and to developing friendships first. Just knowing it’s likely to occur makes it easier to resist. Let’s face it—you will have to date lots of women before you find another long term partner.It is important for you, and for your children, that you start the dating process slowly and that you don’t have overnight visitors. And that means that you will reject some, and some will reject you. One of the more difficult parts of the process of getting back into the dating scene is dealing with your children.Be particularly cautious if he's already looking for Spouse #2. Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up.
We all need time to heal and don't want to plunge blindly into the rebound relationship. But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation. If you each have children at different stages -- for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college -- anticipate some potential problems if you're hoping for a long-term relationship.
Make sure you create opportunities to talk and listen with the kids individually or as a group.
Remember the rule of active listening - seek first to understand before seeking to be understood.
All I can say is this: Listen to your gut, listen to your gut, listen to your gut -- no matter what others think and how good things seem on the surface.
Be sure to take your time to get to know him, his family, his friends, his co-workers. There is never a good reason to rush a relationship -- especially if you have kids.
If you’re a divorced guy, you don’t need to hear it from me: divorce sucks. Basically every student that attends our weeklong residential program in Los Angeles who’s divorced tells me that it’s the hardest thing he’s ever gone through in his life.