Christian dating no physical attraction
Like my dad said: “You don’t want to marry for looks. On average the emotional highs last between eighteen months and three years. If what he’s looking to hold his marriage together for “many, many, many years” is sexual attraction, he’s setting himself up for disappointment.The only way to keep the high-jinks of new love going is to keep starting over with new lovers.
For example, height, athleticism, ethnicity, features, etc.You can build a strong, godly, world changing marriage on many things. But I also worry for the single Christian women who, like you, are “struggling to get Christian guys to see what marriage was designed to be.” Just knowing the truth isn’t enough. When the men in your church and singles group talk about what they’re looking for in a wife, or speak about a woman they’re interested in, or explain why a good woman would not be a good match for them — whenever this issue of dating and marriage comes up, you have an opportunity to respond biblically. Your words should be true, but also kind, full of respect, and gracious.And telling your guy friends about it will be less effective than you may think (it may even have the opposite effect that what you hope). Even when the men around you are disrespectful, even if what they say is infuriating (e.g., “You don’t want to marry for looks.You have a role to play to influence the culture around you, especially in your church. Then again, you don’t want to marry a mud fence.”) you have the power to control your response.And how you respond has the power to shape where the conversation leads (). If you’re in a peer group that consistently maligns biblical marriage and belittles godly women who don’t measure up to the cultural standards of attraction and beauty, you have as much responsibility for the situation as the men do.Scripture is clear that marriage is to be honored by all ().
If this description doesn’t describe the community you’re in, you have the ability (and obligation) to find one that does.
There certainly was chemistry between Solomon and his bride. And as the saying goes, if all you eat is icing, you’ll get sick.
But nowhere in Scripture is that given as a condition for a God-glorifying marriage. I worry for men like your friend who may miss out on highly productive marriages and families that are fruitful for the kingdom, simply because the women God brings to them don’t, at first, cause a chemical reaction.
Guard her heart by not leading her on, but if you are not sure if you like her or not then you should gather more information and more experiences with her until you know one way or the other. In the big scheme of things going out a few times with a girl won’t hurt anything if you end up not liking her romantically. Physical Attraction Is Important in a Christian Relationship, but Your Spouse Does Not Need to Be Your Ideal “Type” I do think physical attraction is important.
However, I think there is a difference between your ideal “type” compared to a woman who is still attractive to you but just may not have the exact type of body you are most attracted to.
While it would be great if every man’s wife had the perfect body to match his “type,” this is unrealistic.