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College and dating

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ASPEN, Colo.—Usually when a group of middle-aged people gather to kvetch about twenty-somethings, it's about how they're always texting, or they spend too much time on the social medias, or they're boomeranging back to their parents' homes because they're afraid to just walk right up to a business owner, look him straight in the eye, and ask for a job.But at the Aspen Ideas Festival Tuesday, a unique Millennial gripe was aired: Kids these days, they just don't know how to fall in love.

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"And even they admit that a lot of it is kind of bogus." Rachel Greenwald, an author and dating coach, thinks it's because most college "relationships" now occur within the context of a brief sexual encounter, or "hookup," as the youth say.

"Romance," she said, "has gone the way of cursive handwriting." A recent study by the American Psychological Association found that between 60 and 80 percent of North American college students have had a hookup, even though 63 percent of college men and 83 percent of college women said they would prefer a traditional relationship."In gearing themselves up for sex, they're draining themselves emotionally," Greenwald said. discard, to ignore, to swallow their emotions so they can participate in the anxiety-provoking but common dynamic which is the hookup culture."Lori Gottlieb, an Atlantic contributor, author, and psychologist, thinks it's because Millennials have been so coddled by their parents and teachers that they are now unable to accept others' opinions and realities.

Erika Christakis, a lecturer at the Yale Child Study Center, is a former co-master at one of the student residence halls at Harvard.