Dealing with ex husband dating
but other times they were absolutely, positively wrong.But I can tell you, every time that someone has pressured me by telling me their opinion of someone more than once, I started to resent them for making the complaint. Because when they tell me more than once that they don’t agree with my relationship with a person, they’re disrespecting me.
I regret it – it was destructive and never ever helped my relationship. I handled (because it was my problem, not hers.) The truth is that when I was in that situation, I didn’t manage my fears. It was like, I was so afraid of the idea that she could have been doing something and playing me for a fool that I felt compelled to snuff out any relationship she had that made me uncomfortable.My feeling these days is that if your relationship is good in the moments that you’re with the person, it’s good. And most importantly, I stopped interpreting someone else’s actions as a reflection of me.Worrying about what they could do just throws away any chance for enjoying your own life. Anyway, I’m just sharing how I felt when I was in this sort of situation.It was insecurity at its finest, and it’s not a male thing- it’s a human thing. I needed to learn to trust my own instincts – to trust that I would know something was wrong if my relationship was bad, not because I felt jealous or uncomfortable about a relationship she had.Frankly, people are going to do whatever they want to do anyway.Playing detective or trying to control the other person to prevent them from being able to contact someone is just going to fill that person with resentment and will drain you of energy you could put towards better things… Seriously meditate on this thought: People are going to do whatever they want to do.
No amount of trying to control them, or to “guilt” them, or to reason with them, or to commit to them, etc. Of course your actions matter, but what I’m saying here is that in the end, you can’t control the other person and even if you were able to, it’s much better to know that the other person is going to be the way you want them to be without you having to expend energy on “controlling” them. I stopped trying to be perfect and control everything so I could feel OK.
If I were in your situation, I would do whatever I could to avoid the subject of this ex-girlfriend altogether.
I hope this article helped give you some clarity on how to handle things if he’s still in touch with his ex. There is one defining moment in every relationship that determines if it will last, or if you will be left heartbroken…
His other friends and parents agree with me, but I can’t get him see it from any other point of view.
At the heart of the issue, this sort of thing stems from your own fears.
Now I only have limited information, but in past situations like this women have told me it stems from the fear that he might have feelings for her or that he’s not totally over her.