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Is his body language open and reaching towards you or closed off and guarded? What are the needs she has that are not being met (such as for love, companionship, understanding, control,or respect)?The best way to soothe an angry spouse is to let him know that you hear and & accept his unmet needs and are willing to make changes to help meet them.
So if we go back to the beliefs section, I'll bet that you've got a few in there that you can easily see are self-sabotaging.Related: 20 Questions About Communication to Ask Your Partner In reality, this just means reviewing your new beliefs constantly, and making sure you aren't self-sabotaging in different, new, more inventive ways. Finally it's time to reconnect with your partner, and maybe even fall in love again.No more writing things down in your journal or working things out in your head. As well, you need to diagnose the problem so as to troubleshoot, accept responsibility, and fix it. Like healthy relationships, bad relationships are born, fed and nurtured into becoming what they are. I suggest doing a meditation to get yourself focused and seeing things clearly.Related: Couples Communication Skills Quiz, Test Your Relationship Chemistry So, what can you do instead? Therefore, in order to fix a "bad" relationship, you must first look at how you've contributed to the problem as well as accept responsibility for your actions, intentional or otherwise. When we're in the throes of a difficult partnership, it's tricky to just sit down and *poof* get an answer.According to the latest statistics, 41% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce Even the strongest relationships get off track sometimes, because of the stresses of living, mismatch of expectations, or what author Dr.
Sue Johnson calls “attachment injuries” – ways in which we fail to hold & comfort each other during key moments of need.
I have developed The H-E-A-L (Hear – Empathize – Act – Love) technique to repair damaged relationships by replacing defensive self-protection with compassionate presence and loving connection.
When your partner speaks, make an effort to stay mentally present & listen. It’s not about defending yourself, but about trying to understand your partner & learning to fulfill each other’s needs.
The insight you've gained will now be put to work to help both of you get what you need and want in your relationship.
That being said, this last step definitely isn't easy, and it takes a considerable amount of time.
Listen beyond her words for nonverbal signs of emotion.